A Quick and Easy Stanley Cup Championship

For those days (or years) when you are in a rush, this recipe is a quick and easy fix to a Stanley Cup Championship of your own-

Winning a Stanley Cup doesn’t have to be difficult! By following the steps of this simple recipe, anyone can make an impressive run to a championship.

1. Start with several large spoonfuls of SMART DRAFTING. Continue until your prospect cupboard is full, then allow to bake slowly. Be patient — you can’t rush this part.

(Hint: You may want to try adding one tsp of TANKING to help the process along, assuming you can stand the smell.)

2. While you wait for your PROSPECTS to finish baking, assemble your other key ingredients. You will need:

• One FRANCHISE-PLAYER FORWARD, drafted with a top-five pick

• One NORRIS TROPHY–CALIBER DEFENSEMAN

• One GOOD GOALTENDER (If you don’t have a good goaltender available, an ADEQUATE GOALTENDER WHO PEOPLE THINK IS GOOD can also work.)

Mix together to form a CHAMPIONSHIP CORE, then allow to simmer.

3. When your PROSPECTS are ready, begin slowly adding them to the CHAMPIONSHIP CORE. Go slowly — dumping them all in at once may ruin the dish.

4. Mix in a few dollops of SMART TRADING.

5. Carefully add one or two helpings of FREE-AGENCY VALUE.

6. Sprinkle liberally with CHEAP DEPTH GUYS.

7. Cook together until you reach the SALARY-CAP CEILING.

8. Top with one SMART COACH, a dash of GRIT, and a heaping helping of GOOD LUCK, and serve while hot. Suggested drink pairing: champagne.

TOTAL PREPARATION TIME: three to five years.

33 Reader Comments on “Quick and Easy Stanley Cup Championship”

Chicago Blackhawks: I followed all the directions, and I have to say it really was super easy. In fact, I’ve already made this multiple times. Just wish I’d found this recipe earlier!

Boston Bruins: Same here: This was fantastic! Careful with the salary-cap part, though. If you’re not watching, it can overflow.

Los Angeles Kings: Fantastic recipe. I’m not a huge fan of free agents, so I usually substitute lopsided trade with Columbus, which works just as well.

Washington Capitals: Wait, are you sure there isn’t a step missing or something? I swear I followed all the directions, and it didn’t work at all.

Florida Panthers: Yeah, I’ve been trying this for years, and I never even seem to get past Step 1.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Same here.

Anaheim Ducks: Good recipe, but I’d recommend doubling up on the Norris defenseman. Makes everything so much easier.

Detroit Red Wings: I’ve made this one often, and it always turns out great. Tip: If you’ve run out of top-five-pick franchise players, just swap in a few you have lying around from the sixth or seventh round instead.

Edmonton Oilers: Three to five years? Uh, don’t think so. I’ve had this in the oven for six and it’s not even close to being done.

Philadelphia Flyers: I have a severe allergy to goaltending. Does anyone know of a way to make this dish without it?

Vancouver Canucks: I’ve never been able to get this one to work. Everything always seems fine, but at the very end when I go to serve it, everything crumbles. Then there’s usually a fire.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Not bad, but honestly this makes it sound more complicated than it needs to be. If you just toss in a lucky Ping-Pong ball, you can skip most of these other steps.

St. Louis Blues: This sounds delicious. I might try it someday. Does anyone have a version of this recipe that uses a slow-cooker?

New York Rangers: Wait, where are you getting all of this free-agency value from? It’s never available at any store I’ve ever shopped at.

Edmonton Oilers: Me again. Now it’s been seven years, and still nothing. Something’s wrong with this recipe.

Montreal Canadiens: I’ve made this recipe way more than any of you. I could easily do it again if I wanted to, but I just haven’t felt like it recently. Still, it was really great when I used to make it all the time a few decades ago. Would you like me to tell you about it? Let me tell you about it … [Click to expand comment. 72,000 more words.]

Tampa Bay Lightning: I’m pretty sure I made this once, although nobody seems to remember.

Calgary Flames: I remember.

Ottawa Senators: Hey, does anyone have a version of this recipe that doesn’t call for the salary-cap ceiling? Uh, I mean, I could totally use that if I wanted to. I just like the challenge of cooking without it. Yeah, that’s it.

Buffalo Sabres: Whoops. When it came to the tanking, I misread “tsp” as “gallon.” Hope it still works out!

Colorado Avalanche: I followed this recipe a few times and it worked great. I figured I’d try it again recently, but this time I skipped a few steps, and it still worked out just as well so I’m not sure why you’d bother with … oh wait, my kitchen just flooded.

Dallas Stars: I made this once and it turned out just right. I didn’t follow all the directions exactly, but that’s no big deal. It’s not like anyone’s going to care about one errant step.

Minnesota Wild: You know when you try to sprinkle in just the right amount of an ingredient and it won’t come out of the container so you tap the bottom a few times and then suddenly all of it falls out right into the middle of your dish? That happened to me at the free-agency step.

Winnipeg Jets: I was really excited to try this until I got to the part about trading. Didn’t know it was going to be one of those fancy-pants recipes with complicated steps that are impossible to do. No thanks!

New Jersey Devils: Great recipe. I used to make it all the time and was really happy with the results. One word of advice: Be sure to check the expiration date on your goaltender, because they’ll eventually go bad on you.

New York Islanders: I made this recipe a few times in the 1980s and don’t really see any reason to ever make it again.

Edmonton Oilers: Now up to eight years and counting. Not sure why it’s working for everyone else and not me, but it’s definitely not my fault. I think I know a thing or two about cooking!

Carolina Hurricanes: Wait, did that say grit? I thought it said grits. Never mind, my version turned out way better.

Arizona Coyotes: I’d love to try making this, but all of my cooking supplies are permanently packed away in moving boxes that I never end up using.

Nashville Predators: Ugh, my annoying neighbor from Philadelphia keeps coming over and trying to borrow my Norris defenseman.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Not sure what everyone’s raving about, since I tried this recently and wasn’t impressed. Although I should mention that I didn’t have enough prospects, so I substituted compete level. Also, I couldn’t find the defenseman, so I substituted compete level. And instead of the trading, cheap depth, and free-agency value, I went with compete level. Anyway, the results were terrible. I guess I didn’t use enough compete level.

San Jose Sharks: I‘ve been trying to make this recipe for years, but I always end up choking on it.

Edmonton Oilers: I just realized my oven was unplugged this whole time.

(from Grantland)

Pumpkin Bread - A fall favorite

I love pumpkin. A lot. Almost as much as I love my husband and bike. Every year when fall rolls around I bust out the pumpkin scones and the pumpkin pancakes, and pretty much anything else that can be pumpkin'ized.  And every year I say to myself, "self, if you love your husband and your bike year round, why not love pumpkin year round as well?".  Then winter rolls in and by spring my pumpkin love is long forgotten.  It's a sad, sad state of affairs.  Alas, this year, I swear to the Greatest of Pumpkins that I will not forget you.

My newest discovery is this tasty, tender gluten free pumpkin bread I discovered over here at Tasty Yummies.  For once in my life, I actually followed a recipe to the tee and low and behold it was spectacular.  The only alteration I made was to use chocolate chips and pecans, instead of ginger and walnuts (simply because I didn't have any ginger and dark chocolate chips are delicious), and I sprinkled the top with pumpkin seeds, for good measure.

I'm looking forward to eating this tasty bread year round, from here on out!


Updating to include actual recipe below (and a banana bread version) ...
INGREDIENTS

2 large eggs 
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup pureed or canned pumpkin (mashed banana) 
1/4 cup milk 

250 grams of your favorite gluten-free all-purpose flour blend (1 1/2 – 2 cups depending on brand/type)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350º F. Grease and flour a 9″ x 5″ loaf pan.

Sift the dry ingredients (flour, spices, salt, baking soda and baking powder) together in a large mixing bowl. Set aside.

In the large bowl of your stand mixer, beat the eggs and coconut sugar together until very well combined and fluffy. Approximately 3-5 minutes. Slowly while the mixer is running, pour the oil into the sugar and egg mixture, then add in the pumpkin, almond milk and vanilla, allow the mixture to mix another a minute or two until everything is well combined.

Then add the dry ingredients to the mixing bowl with the wet ingredients. A little at a time, while the mixer is running on a low-speed. Mix until well blended. Then fold the crystallized ginger and walnuts into the batter. Mix the remaining crystallized ginger and walnuts together and set aside.

Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the ginger and walnut mixture all over the top. Place on the center rack in the oven and back until the top is golden brown, about an hour. Make sure a cake tester or knife comes out clean. Allow the bread to cool in the pan for about 30 minutes, then gently turn the bread out of the pan (being careful not to knock all the nuts and ginger off) and allow it to finish cooling on a wire rack.

Chocolate Chocolate Pancakes (gluten-free)

I made some super tasty chocolate pancakes while my parents were in town recently.  They were stellar!  Here's the recipe for your culinary pleasure.

Ingredients
4 tablespoons melted butter
2 large eggs
2 cups milk (any kind, I used half almond milk, half coconut milk)
1 teaspoon gluten-free vanilla extract
2 tablespoons maple syrup
2 cups King Arthur Gluten-Free Multi-Purpose Flour
1/3 to 1/2 cup cocoa (dark or regular)
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/2 Ghirardelli chocolate chips (optional)

Melt butter in microwave and let cool a bit.  Wisk in eggs, milk, maple syrup, and vanilla.  In a separate bown combine flour, cocoa, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, and xanthan gum.  Fold dry ingredients into wet ones. Allow the batter to rest at room temperature for 10- 15 minutes before making pancakes. Add chocolate chips if desired.

Eat.

Gluten-free Quinoa Chocolate Cake

Thank you, Universe, for introducing me to this tasty gluten-free chocolate cake!  Actually, who I should really be thanking is Sarah of the blog "making thyme for my health". This recipe is more than I could have ever hoped for in a gluten-free dessert.  It's rich and chocolaty. It's moist and delicious.  It's heaven.

The crazy thing is that this cake is made from quinoa (not quinoa flour, but actual cooked quinoa). So, aside from the sugar, there really isn't anything in it that's bad for you.   I've pasted the recipe in its original form below.  I made two versions to test it out.  The first was as written; the second was using two mashed bananas and a half cup of sugar (instead of the full cup of sugar).  Both versions were delicious, which leads me to believe that this is a relatively flexible recipe.  (The banana one is on the left and the original recipe is on the right in the picture.)  I was feeling lazy and made these each in 9x13 pans this time around, but next time I plan to do cake rounds and layer them up with frosting to make a proper cake.  I can't wait to try them again!!

INGREDIENTS
2 cups cooked quinoa*
1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk (or preferred milk)
4 whole eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup Earth Balance, melted (or butter)
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1 cup white sugar
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Hershey’s Special Dark)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Whipped Chocolate Coconut Cream Frosting
1 (13.5 ounce) can of full fat coconut milk, refrigerated/cold
1 (10 ounce) bag chocolate chips

INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and then line two round cake pans (or a 9x13” pan) with parchment paper.
  2. In a food processor or blender, combine the eggs, almond milk (or preferred milk) and vanilla extract then blend for ten seconds to combine.
  3. Add the cooked and cooled quinoa along with the melted and cooled Earth Balance and coconut oil (could also use all regular butter) then blend until completely smooth, about thirty seconds to one minute.
  4. Sift together the dry ingredients in a large bowl (cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and sea salt).
  5. Add the wet ingredients in the blender to the bowl with the dry and mix together until well-combined.
  6. Divide the batter between the two pans and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the cakes from the oven and allow to cool.
  7. To make the frosting you will need to refrigerate the coconut milk overnight (in the coldest part of your refrigerator) so that the cream separates.
  8. When you are ready to make it, melt the chocolate in a sauce pan over low-medium heat. Grab the coconut milk from the refrigerator but don’t shake the can or turn it upside down before opening. Open the can and scoop out the solid parts with a spoon, placing them into the pot with the chocolate. It’s okay if it the solid parts on completely separated, just try to get as much of the thicker portions as possible. Melt the coconut cream and chocolate together then transfer to a large bowl that you can later use to whip it in. (note: if the melted chocolate/coconut milk mixture still appears really dark you can add more coconut milk to lighten it up so that the end result isn't bitter)
  9. Allow to cool on the counter then cover and refrigerate for several hours, until thickened. Once it has thickened, remove from the refrigerator and beat on high for thirty seconds to one minute, until a fluffy icing has formed. (I made mine the night before baking the cake).
  10. Transfer the cakes to a surface for icing with the bottom side up. I recommend that you only transfer the cakes once as they are fragile and difficult to hold together once removed from the parchment paper.
  11. Frost the cake and refrigerate until ready to serve. The icing will melt in really warm conditions but should be fine for a few hours in cooler settings.

NOTES
*approximately 1/2 cup dry quinoa will yield 2 cups cooked quinoa.

Quinoa Almond Berry Pancakes

Ingredients:
1 cup cooked quinoa
1/4 cup almond flour
1/2 mixture of any other gluten free flours (I used 1/4 cup oat flour and 1/4 cup rice flour)
2 large eggs
2 T canola or coconut oil
1/2 cup milk
2 T syrup
optional berries (I scattered them on top right before I flipped the pancakes)

Peanut Butter Swirl Brownies (Gluten Free)

Peanut Butter Swirl Brownies (Gluten Free)

Ingredients for the Brownies:
1.5 cups nut butter of any kind (I've tried all crunch peanut butter and an almond butter and half crunchy peanut butter mix. They were both awesome!)
2 large eggs
1 to 1.25 cups pure maple syrup (depending on taste)
1t vanilla extract
1/2 cup pure unsweetened cocoa powder (dark cocoa if you have it, otherwise regular is fine)
1/4 t salt
1t baking soda

Ingredients for the Peanut Butter Filling:
3/4 cup melted peanut butter (smooth or crunchy)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven - 325 farenheit. 
2. Prepare baking dish - Line a 9x13 glass baking dish with wax paper leaving approximately a 2 inch overhang (to aid in removing the brownies from the pan after baking). Spray wax paper with canola oil.
3. Prepare brownies - Beat nut butters in an electric mixer until smooth and slightly whipped. (I recommend starting on medium until it's smooth, then raising it to high to whip it a bit.) Add eggs and continue beating until fully incorporated. Then add maple syrup and vanilla, again beating until incorporated. In a separate bowl, combine cocoa powder, salt, and baking soda. Add dry ingredients to the wet ones in the mixer and beat on low until just combined/smooth. Set aside, do not add to baking dish yet. 
4. Melt peanut butter in microwave. Drizzle melted peanut butter over brownie batter. With a spatula or knife, very carefully swirl the peanut butter filling into the brownie filling. (Be careful not to mix the layers together, you just want to create a decorative pattern on top of the brownies.)
5. Bake for approximately 35 minutes. Allow the brownies to cool completely in the pan before lifting them out of the pan using the wax paper overhang. Cut into squares.

*The baking time time will vary depending on your stove and the pan you use. The longer you cook them the chewier they will be.  Cake-like brownies seem to take about 35 minutes, chewy brownies take about 45 minutes.